Saturday, March 21, 2009

My Testimony - Part 1

I finished the final draft of my personal narrative essay and I will place the final copy of the essay on my blog. It is basically my personal testimony of how God saved me and changed my life for His glory and honor alone. The essay is nearly 5 pages long (closer to 4 and a half), so I will cut it up into parts. What I did in my seventh grade year is in the essay! It is not pretty and I am definitely not proud of it at all. I did not use any vile language, because I am a new creation in God. Though, I did use some pretty nasty adjectives to describe who I was. I was that too. Don't get me wrong! I know my past and I am definitely not proud of it. I was trying to prove a point and I think I made the point of how God changed me. Without further notice, enjoy with caution:

In my childhood/preteen memory bank, I stored some troubling memories that seemed to characterize my life during those years. I lived for myself. My own fleshly desires and appetites for the none other prideful me demanded attention and care. I fed those desires and appetites to no end. The desires of filthy lust, vile deceit, atrocious pride, vulgar language, repulsive idolatry, guilty pleasures, and rages of anger held a firm, clawed grip on my life that seemed to never let go. I cared for only one depraved manner of living— living for me, myself, and I. Until one day, something happened to me that greatly affected and changed the course of my life forever.

Those specific memories date throughout my fourth to seventh grade years, but my seventh grade year was the worst of all the years combined. During that year, my depraved human nature began to portray itself clearly at home and at school. I stole snacks and money from school, I cussed regularly, I blasphemed the name of God, I lied constantly, I threw temper tantrums at home, I demanded attention for myself, I broke promises and classroom rules, I lusted after the girls at school, I was arrogant, and so on. My life was literally a mess at thirteen years old and I did not care what happened to the others around me. I probably made them feel as bad as dirt, but I could care less at this time in my life. I continued to fill up my life with the pleasures of the world, but I was completely empty.

The final day of my seventh grade year proved to be a steppingstone towards the turning point in my life. I was walking into school that day feeling like I just shot the game-winning three pointer in game seven of the NBA Finals for the Lakers team that I adore. I had no idea what was about to happen that day as the minutes began to unravel themselves. My best friend Josh Beech came up to me, and we started chattering away. Our minds wandered off to my favorite subject— basketball. Josh Beech was a big San Antonio Spurs fan and I mean a big fan. I, on the other hand, despised the Spurs with an uttermost hatred that cannot be put into words. However, during that year, the New Jersey Nets and the San Antonio Spurs were battling it out for the NBA crown. I told him that the Nets were going to bury the Spurs in six games. He fought back with the best rebuttal that he could.

Our conversation ended up turning into a full-blown argument with a fist fight. We spent the rest of the day in the principal’s office pondering over the precise details of our intensely heated argument. I was extremely angry, but as I was reflecting on what I had done, I knew that I had to change my lifestyle. Yet there was something in me that was willing to change. At the time, I did not know how to change or what to do, so, I fell back into a state of neutrality for a
few months. Then my life changed dramatically by the influence of a significant historical figure.

End of Part 1


Josh said...

Because I am homeschooled, I am blessed to be sheltered from many of the damaging aspects of the public school system and I find it interesting to hear the other side. I really appreciate your tranceparency on these subjects and I can't wait to hear part two.
Your brother in Christ,

Joshua said...

I can't even begin to tell you how many scars that I have from that seventh grade year. It was devastating. My own desires for the flesh seemed to take control and I was a horrendous person back then. Once I was homeschooled in the 8th grade, my life changed dramatically. I started caring about school, other people, my family, nearly everything. God grabbed a hold of my life that was His predetermined plan and I am extremely thankful for Him and for the grace that He poured out on my life. His son was crushed, beaten, bruised, despised, rejected for my sin. He was nailed upon that cross; so that he may clothe me in white (impute his righteousness on me); when I only knew sin. I am extremely thankful and can't believe what he did for me. I am so unworthy, yet he freely offers grace and mercy. You know what. I graciously accept it these days. God is amazing and far beyond my wildest imagination. He alone is worthy to be praised, glorified, and honored. Thank you Jesus!

Your brother in the faith,
Joshua :)