This is the second and final part of my testimony. The first half was a bit destructive. Now, you get to see how God grabbed a hold of my life. It is amazing and I am so thankful for Jesus. Enjoy!
One bright, but relatively cool September morning began to take form and shape as I awoke to tackle the day’s appointed tasks. My mom woke up and seemed eager to ask me if I wanted to take a walk. I agreed. Thirty minutes later, after a brief breakfast and a quick completion of a few chores, we were off. I remember vividly the events that unfolded during that walk. I was on my mom’s left side and we were heading towards Esplanade from Yorba street. We soon curled our way around to Fairhaven, finally reaching the last leg of our journey homeward, which usually came quicker than we expected.
She asked me one simple, but extremely moving question that is stamped in my brain: “Do you know Jesus?” I was taken aback by the question. I replied, “Of course, I have gone to church with you guys every Sunday. I know a little bit about Christian doctrine, I know the sinner’s prayer, I know all that.” As I was answering her, she remained calm and quiet. There was a sense of peace surrounding her that made me think of my own pitiful life filled with sin and the desires of the world. She replied thoughtfully, “Knowing Jesus is not about going to church, knowing Christian doctrine, knowing the sinner’s prayer. People can go to church, understand some Christian doctrine, know the sinner’s prayer, and still die in their sins. It is all about a personal relationship with the Savior of the world— Jesus Christ.”
I was stunned silent. She knew that God was shedding some light on my soul, so she continued, but this time illuminating my heart with the truths of the gospel. She asked me, “Why did Jesus come to die?” “To die for our sins,” I answered. “Yes, but don’t you see it. God‘s moral standard is perfection. You, Josh, must be perfect if you have any chance of making it into heaven. Since no one is perfect, God graciously and mercifully provided a way to redeem mankind from their utter hopelessness and depravity. He didn’t have to. We despised him, rejected him, reviled him, spat in his face— all because of our sin. But God, because of the great love with which he loved us, crushed his son Jesus Christ on the cross to redeem and reconcile mankind back to himself. Jesus was cruelly beaten, reviled, and condemned to die upon one of the most excruciating devices ever fathomed by mankind. He died to save mankind from their depravity and to impute his perfect, holy righteousness on those who believe in him. That is the beauty of the gospel.” I began weeping. Jesus Christ loved me that much. He bore all my sin on the cross, so that I may know him and have a relationship with him. I found that to be an astounding and amazing fact.
Through tears, I asked my mom, “How can I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ?” Her reply: “Cry out to him. Ask him to forgive your sin and pour out his grace and mercy on your life. Repent and trust in him. There is no magic formula. God hears those who are broken and humble before him.” I did it. Right there on the street in front of my house. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of joy and peace. Joy in that I was overwhelmingly thankful and excited about my new faith in Christ; and peace, in that I knew that I was assured of heaven because of the grace and mercy of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I was so passionate about what Christ had done for me that I started preaching the gospel to my sister after I got home. She held fast to the truths of the gospel because she cried out to God when she was six years old; however, it was a good experience for me to preach the gospel right after my conversion. God is good.
How has my life changed since then? My life has changed dramatically since the day God redeemed me. I have an unquenchable and passionate desire to read God’s word, know more about him, and to tell others about him. He is my God and him only will I serve.
In the years since that memorable morning, I haven’t been perfect, but my actions are radically different than those I had as a seventh grader. I returned to my junior high, confessed my sin of stealing and gave back the money. I chose to guard my mouth and confess Jesus instead of cursing. Rather than demanding attention for myself, I have visited nursing homes and hospitals with my parents, caring for Betty, an Alzheimer’s patient I met, and listening to others. I’m different. All because of the love, grace, and mercy that Christ had for a guilty sinner like me. Praise Him!!!
Soli Deo Gloria!
Showing posts with label testimony. Show all posts
Showing posts with label testimony. Show all posts
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
My Testimony - Part 1
I finished the final draft of my personal narrative essay and I will place the final copy of the essay on my blog. It is basically my personal testimony of how God saved me and changed my life for His glory and honor alone. The essay is nearly 5 pages long (closer to 4 and a half), so I will cut it up into parts. What I did in my seventh grade year is in the essay! It is not pretty and I am definitely not proud of it at all. I did not use any vile language, because I am a new creation in God. Though, I did use some pretty nasty adjectives to describe who I was. I was that too. Don't get me wrong! I know my past and I am definitely not proud of it. I was trying to prove a point and I think I made the point of how God changed me. Without further notice, enjoy with caution:
In my childhood/preteen memory bank, I stored some troubling memories that seemed to characterize my life during those years. I lived for myself. My own fleshly desires and appetites for the none other prideful me demanded attention and care. I fed those desires and appetites to no end. The desires of filthy lust, vile deceit, atrocious pride, vulgar language, repulsive idolatry, guilty pleasures, and rages of anger held a firm, clawed grip on my life that seemed to never let go. I cared for only one depraved manner of living— living for me, myself, and I. Until one day, something happened to me that greatly affected and changed the course of my life forever.
Those specific memories date throughout my fourth to seventh grade years, but my seventh grade year was the worst of all the years combined. During that year, my depraved human nature began to portray itself clearly at home and at school. I stole snacks and money from school, I cussed regularly, I blasphemed the name of God, I lied constantly, I threw temper tantrums at home, I demanded attention for myself, I broke promises and classroom rules, I lusted after the girls at school, I was arrogant, and so on. My life was literally a mess at thirteen years old and I did not care what happened to the others around me. I probably made them feel as bad as dirt, but I could care less at this time in my life. I continued to fill up my life with the pleasures of the world, but I was completely empty.
The final day of my seventh grade year proved to be a steppingstone towards the turning point in my life. I was walking into school that day feeling like I just shot the game-winning three pointer in game seven of the NBA Finals for the Lakers team that I adore. I had no idea what was about to happen that day as the minutes began to unravel themselves. My best friend Josh Beech came up to me, and we started chattering away. Our minds wandered off to my favorite subject— basketball. Josh Beech was a big San Antonio Spurs fan and I mean a big fan. I, on the other hand, despised the Spurs with an uttermost hatred that cannot be put into words. However, during that year, the New Jersey Nets and the San Antonio Spurs were battling it out for the NBA crown. I told him that the Nets were going to bury the Spurs in six games. He fought back with the best rebuttal that he could.
Our conversation ended up turning into a full-blown argument with a fist fight. We spent the rest of the day in the principal’s office pondering over the precise details of our intensely heated argument. I was extremely angry, but as I was reflecting on what I had done, I knew that I had to change my lifestyle. Yet there was something in me that was willing to change. At the time, I did not know how to change or what to do, so, I fell back into a state of neutrality for a
few months. Then my life changed dramatically by the influence of a significant historical figure.
End of Part 1
In my childhood/preteen memory bank, I stored some troubling memories that seemed to characterize my life during those years. I lived for myself. My own fleshly desires and appetites for the none other prideful me demanded attention and care. I fed those desires and appetites to no end. The desires of filthy lust, vile deceit, atrocious pride, vulgar language, repulsive idolatry, guilty pleasures, and rages of anger held a firm, clawed grip on my life that seemed to never let go. I cared for only one depraved manner of living— living for me, myself, and I. Until one day, something happened to me that greatly affected and changed the course of my life forever.
Those specific memories date throughout my fourth to seventh grade years, but my seventh grade year was the worst of all the years combined. During that year, my depraved human nature began to portray itself clearly at home and at school. I stole snacks and money from school, I cussed regularly, I blasphemed the name of God, I lied constantly, I threw temper tantrums at home, I demanded attention for myself, I broke promises and classroom rules, I lusted after the girls at school, I was arrogant, and so on. My life was literally a mess at thirteen years old and I did not care what happened to the others around me. I probably made them feel as bad as dirt, but I could care less at this time in my life. I continued to fill up my life with the pleasures of the world, but I was completely empty.
The final day of my seventh grade year proved to be a steppingstone towards the turning point in my life. I was walking into school that day feeling like I just shot the game-winning three pointer in game seven of the NBA Finals for the Lakers team that I adore. I had no idea what was about to happen that day as the minutes began to unravel themselves. My best friend Josh Beech came up to me, and we started chattering away. Our minds wandered off to my favorite subject— basketball. Josh Beech was a big San Antonio Spurs fan and I mean a big fan. I, on the other hand, despised the Spurs with an uttermost hatred that cannot be put into words. However, during that year, the New Jersey Nets and the San Antonio Spurs were battling it out for the NBA crown. I told him that the Nets were going to bury the Spurs in six games. He fought back with the best rebuttal that he could.
Our conversation ended up turning into a full-blown argument with a fist fight. We spent the rest of the day in the principal’s office pondering over the precise details of our intensely heated argument. I was extremely angry, but as I was reflecting on what I had done, I knew that I had to change my lifestyle. Yet there was something in me that was willing to change. At the time, I did not know how to change or what to do, so, I fell back into a state of neutrality for a
few months. Then my life changed dramatically by the influence of a significant historical figure.
End of Part 1
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